


The Phoenix (ME3, FemShep)

by Guardian_Wolf



Category: Mass Effect, Mass Effect 3 - Fandom
Genre: Clearly dramatic because I am a dramatic person, F/M, I'm going too far with these tags I think, Slow Burn, don't hate me, first fic on AO3, irregular updates, reupload, whatever
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-13
Updated: 2016-02-13
Packaged: 2018-05-20 05:18:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5992933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Guardian_Wolf/pseuds/Guardian_Wolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the longest time, Lola Shepard has suffered with the knowledge that the end is coming. No one takes the word of one soldier alone, and when the arrival of the Reapers finally begins, humanity isn't the only race that is ill-prepared. Reuniting with her old friends and building an army is not easy, and it never has been for her. Reopening new wounds and causing new ones, Shepard must face the end of the galaxy, but thankfully, this time, she's not alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. When The Sky Falls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: Spoilers

After Horizon, it was a long time before Kaidan saw her again.   
  
He was just as shocked as anyone when he heard the news of the Normandy arriving on Earth. It was right in Vancouver, too, where he was, and he resisted the strong urge to go and find her. He found out when he watched it on the vids with his parents the night she returned, and his hands had curled into fists at the sight of her willingly surrendering the ship and her command, and even though she proudly donned her Alliance blues, she was apprehended and arrested like a common criminal. He couldn't watch any more after they'd violently shoved her out of view of the camera, a full squad crowding around their newest prisoner with dozens of reporters clamouring for her input.  
  
There wasn't any time to go see her after that. Every time he'd ask about an update on her, Admiral Anderson would insist it was classified and he couldn't tell him. But Kaidan was persistent- eventually, Anderson began to give him snippets of information, bits and pieces ranging from her health to her emotional wellbeing. Anderson saw her regularly enough, and he said he was probably the only thing stopping Shepard from going insane and tearing her hair out from being so isolated.  
  
She'd been given small quarters here in Vancouver, and he knew she was probably twiddling her thumbs waiting for the minute for the Reapers to arrive. That was all she'd spoken about after returning, Anderson had said. "She wouldn't shut up about the goddamn Reapers," was something the Admiral told him, "The poor woman's whole life revolves around war."  
  
He would have argued, but he knew it was true. Shepard was a soldier, and not just _any_. She was one of the best he'd ever seen, and he knew she'd be the only hope for humanity against the Reapers once they landed.   
  
The Alliance brass were still refusing to accept it. He knew how frustrated it must have made her, cooped up in that small room with nothing else to do than to read or sleep. She wasn't ever allowed out of the room, and Anderson, no matter how much he wanted to, couldn't get her out. Shepard had betrayed the Alliance - for good reason - but she couldn't get away with it, even if she was humanity's last hope.  
  
Kaidan thought back to Eden Prime, when she pushed him out of the way of the Prothean Beacon. He'd wanted to shout at her at the time; tell her how stupid and reckless and careless it was to take his place when it was his fault. He'd even wished it would have been him instead of her, especially when she had been out cold for several days in the med bay afterwards. But now, thinking on it, part of him was guiltily glad she had. He'd hate to be in her place, screaming warnings at people who wouldn't listen, and the only ones who believed her had turned their backs on her.  
  
He didn't envy her. But he missed her.  
  
Every so often, he'd considered asking Anderson if seeing her was a possibility. Instead, he'd send her the occasional email, wondering if she'd even receive them what with her captivity. If she did, he didn't get any in return. He made sure to tell her it was fine if she didn't reply; his messages were only to help her retain her sanity, he said.  
  
He knew she'd be let out as soon as he heard word of systems going dark. He'd hoped he would see her, but the small, scared part of him was worried to face her.   
  
It was chaos, people scurrying back and forth through the cramped hallways with worried faces and heavy hearts. And there she was, in the midst of it, calm as the sea with a gentle tide.   
  
He knew Anderson was speaking to him. There was a short pause before he responded to the Admiral's question, taking a minute to let his eyes wander to where she was stood just a few feet away, back to him as she spoke with another marine, a man he didn't recognise.  
  
She looked good. For someone who'd been locked up by the few people she trusted for months, she looked good. Her hair was longer, but she'd kept on top of it, and it only brushed her shoulders before it stopped. She was back in her good old Alliance fatigues, and he was happy to see she hadn't been stubborn and refused to eat in some strange form of protest. She seemed healthy, which took a heavy weight off his shoulders. Her skin was free of wounds, cheeks round and reddened from the no-doubt sudden luxury of comfortable surroundings.  
  
"Shepard." He called.  
  
He saw her twitch at the sound of his voice. She turned full around, wide-eyed. A grin lit up her lips at the sight of him, before it wavered and her serious expression retook her face.  
  
Shepard approached, "Kaidan?" Her voice was calm, level. He wasn't surprised, really.   
  
"Hey, Shepard." He greeted in return, giving her a small, wonky smile.   
  
"How'd it go in there, Major?" Anderson asked, returning their conversation back to business.  
  
Kaidan decided it was time to look back to the Admiral. "Alright, I think," he shrugged. "It's hard to tell."  
  
" _Major_?" Shepard's brow jerked as she quoted the title. It seemed new to her.  
  
"You didn't know?" The Admiral didn't even glance at her when he asked.  
  
She shook her head, and swallowed hard before responding. "No... No, I didn't."  
  
"I'm sorry, Shepard," he said. He wasn't sure if he was apologising for giving her the cold shoulder, for ignoring her this past year, or even for all the shit he'd done to her mental state by now, no doubt. He struggled to find words to say... Something. Anything. "It's uh..."  
  
"No, no, it's... Uhm, it's okay," she nodded, swallowing a lump in her throat again. Her eyes shimmered slightly. God, he couldn't make her cry. This was Commander Shepard he was talking to. "I'm just... Glad I bumped into you, Kaidan."  
  
He cleared his throat. "Yeah. So am I."  
  
He opened his mouth to speak, but his ears pricked up at the sound of Anderson calling. "Sounds like they need you now." He said, heart heavy at the thought of letting her walk out of here, "Knock 'em dead, Commander."  
  
"Who, the committee, or the Reapers?" She joked as she walked by.   
  
" _Both_ , please." He called after her.  
  
Kaidan watched her go. Hell, he shouldn't have any right to after what had happened, but he found his eyes wandering further down than just her back as she walked. Then, he gave himself a good mental slap. There were important things to do, like saving the galaxy from a Reaper invasion, and here he was, staring at the ass of the only woman who could save the goddamn thing.  
  
When she was out of sight, he sighed. He noticed the marine from before, the one Shepard seemed to know, hung around.  
  
"You know the Commander?" He asked, his head falling to the side in question.   
  
Kaidan sighed again, "I used to," was all he said.  
  
Then the Reapers hit, and he heard the most ear-shattering boom echo from the next room along. His heart missed a beat, and his first instinct was to run in after her, but the door was blocked- of course it was. It was just his luck.  
  
"Shepard wouldn't die from _that_!" The marine from before was shouting at him now, glaring at him from a distance. Kaidan was busy shoving his shoulder against the door in a failing attempt to get it open. All he succeeded in doing was giving himself a sore shoulder.  
  
" _Shit_." Was all Kaidan could muster in a breathy growl as he leaned back against the door. They had to move, and he knew it, because it wouldn't be long until Reapers were crawling on every inch inside of every building. Most buildings wouldn't even get such a rigorous scouring. They would be decimated in seconds, much like the room next door seemed to have been.  
  
He eventually listened to the marine - who he know knew as Lieutenant James Vega - and followed his advice. After helping several civilians evacuate the building, and after getting a rifle in his hands, they decided to head for the dock where the Normandy had been stationed. If any ship was worth saving from this planet in an attempt to save it, it had to be her.  
  
It was pure, unbridled chaos. Some were trying to make sense out of it; marines, police forces, anyone of authority with some sense, were on the streets, trying to organise the civilians into a sort of misplaced order that refused to stay in a single suit. They was so much fear and terror in the eyes of the people he locked eyes with, that he almost drowned under it. It made him sick to know how many of these people would most likely die. And for what? Why did so many people need to senselessly die? What had they ever done to deserve this other than live?  
  
He and Vega picked up a quick pace through the streets of Vancouver. There were so many people he wanted to stop and help, but James kept on reminding him that Shepard needed his help just as much as these people did- and a part of him was ashamed to admit that a single person's life was more important to him than the hundreds of people he ran past as they cried out for help.  
  
He couldn't take it anymore, not when the husks began to claw their way through the streets. They both agreed wordlessly that they wouldn't let a civilian in their sight be touched by one, if they could help it. In an attempt to save clips for later, he stuck mostly to his biotics, but it was difficult to find a good balance after so long of being off-duty.  
  
Kaidan made sure his radio stayed on at all times. He was waiting for something, anything from the Admiral, because he just knew Shepard would be with him. A breathy sigh of relief left him when the Admiral got in touch, and patched in Shepard. The conversation was short-lived; the connection stuttered and died out after a few mere minutes. No doubt something the Reapers concocted to jam their communications- the same thing had happened on Eden Prime, if he remembered correctly.  
  
Again, there was just the slightest connection for a fleeting moment between an unfamiliar radio and his, but he could recognise the Admiral's voice. Before he even managed to ask Anderson if she was with him, it cut off, but he'd received the order to raise the Normandy well enough.  
  
By the time they reached her, Kaidan was out of breath and needed something, anything to eat to refuel his energy. He gave himself a stiff scolding and restricted himself to the good old fashioned gun and bullets for now, as he knew his biotics wouldn't last much longer without him passing out. He'd used up so much energy in such a panicked, short time that he felt himself burning out like a flickering candle in a gale.  
  
Seeing Joker was a relief. Jeff Moreau was that kind of guy that just reverberated with a comforting aura without trying. He was already onboard, and there was little to no difference in time between him in his wheelchair and the pilot's seat when Kaidan informed him of the situation- which everyone onboard seemed to already know.   
  
They agreed to use the Normandy's communicators to broadcast to Shepard and the Admiral. It wasn't long before they found them, but it took a few minutes to manoeuvre around the huge, towering machines of death trying to destroy everything in sight.   
  
Kaidan was down in the hangar before they even reached them. James joined him, as did several other marines who had seemed to be Joker's bodyguards of sorts, who'd followed them without question when they heard they'd be helping Shepard and the Admiral aboard.  
  
When the hatch finally opened and he grabbed her hand and helped her aboard, he wanted to hug her, grab her in his arms and never let go. He'd worried for the longest time since she'd went into meet the committee that he wouldn't see her again, even though he knew full well she would never die from something so trivial.  
  
"Welcome aboard, Shepard," was all he finally ended up saying. He met her bright green eyes, and he saw the smile in them even if one didn't grace her lips.  
  
"Thanks."   
  
Leaving Anderson behind was tough for her; he saw it on her face. She tried to hide it but he saw it well enough before she did it successfully, and the clenching of her fists all but told him all he needed to know.   
  
They shouldn't have watched as they took off. He knew he didn't want to see this, and he knew she didn't. He turned his back, expecting her to do the same, only to find her still staring out of the hatch until it eventually closed in her face.  
  
"Shepard..." He lifted a hand, which faltered slightly mid-stretch, unsure of how to help.  
  
"I'm fine." She said. "Fine."  
  
She didn't cry. Shepard doesn't cry. Instead, he saw it, as she stormed away; her hand clenched around her gun so much that her knuckles shone white, her jaw set tightly and that look in her eye told him all he needed to know.  
  
Shepard would make these bastards _pay_.  
  
***  
  
  
"What's going on? Where's Anderson? Where are we going?"   
  
Shepard sighed inwardly at the flurry of questions James was shooting at her from behind. She continued to walk, her strides wide, knowing walking while pretending to have a purpose was better than pacing back and forth like a madman, which she felt like she needed to do right now.  
  
"We're leavin'." She said, answering one out of the three questions, but vaguely. She knew James wouldn't be satisfied with that.  
  
"Leaving?" He exclaimed, and when she glanced back at him, she saw his expression was one of horror. It seemed to have stunned him into silence for now, at least.  
  
Coming to a stop at the terminal at the end of the shuttle bay, she began to check the stock of the armoury. She was paranoid now, and she knew it, but it was something to keep her busy and stop her mind wandering to places she knew it wouldn't be healthy to be traipsing around in right now.  
  
"Shepard, what's going on?" She heard a voice call from behind her, but she kept her eyes on the terminal screen. She knew she wouldn't be able to quell Kaidan's questions as easily as she had James'. The truth, plain and simple was better for him to hear.  
  
"Anderson's ordered us to the Citadel- get help for the fight." She answered, eyes and fingers moving at light speed as she searched through the data, not really seeing. She felt like she was staring at a vid screen that she couldn't tear her eyes from, with the same memories of that young boy's last moments playing on repeat.   
  
" _Bullshit_!" James was at her side now, and his shout distracted her from what she was doing. Sending a glare his way, she tried to focus again. "He wouldn't order us to leave!"  
  
"I don't want to leave either." She mumbled, not really knowing how to appease him. Shepard had the feeling it would come down to a shouting match that would leave both of them seething.  
  
"Drop me off somewhere. I ain't running from this fight with my tail between my legs-"  
  
"Enough!" Turning from the console abruptly, she poked a finger at him. "Don't you think I'd rather stay and fight? This war is something we can't handle alone! We are going to the Citadel, whether you like it or not! If you don't, you can catch a flight back from there!"   
  
He returned her glare for a few more moments, before scowling and throwing his hands in the air. He stormed off, muttering things under his breath all the while. She knew he'd be pissed for hours now.  
  
"Commander." She heard a voice call through the comm around the room.   
  
"Joker, that you?" A small smile tugged at her lips at the sound of him, even after what she'd just been through.  
  
She could almost hear his grin. "Alive and kicking." Joker replied, "I've got an emergency transmission from Admiral Hackett for you."  
  
Her smile fell. "Patch him through."   
  
The connection was shaky and temperamental at best. Even after asking EDI to clear it up, all she gathered from it was that Hackett wanted her and the Normandy to go to the Mars Archives.  
  
"Mars?" Kaidan asked after she'd conveyed the news to him, Joker and James, who was now interested in the conversation again. "What does he think we'll find there?"  
  
"I don't know. Yet." Shepard turned away from the terminal, heading for where she was sure she had seen her N7 armour behind a partially open locker door. Reaching it, she pulled it open, and felt an incredible wave of relief when she had a pistol in hand. "But if it helps us win this war..." She reached further in, her fingertips coming into contact with cold metal. Holding the chest piece in her hands, the N7 crest staring her in the face, felt so good after everything that had happened that she didn't want to let it go. "Grab your gear."  
  
"Shepard, wait." Kaidan approached, and she flinched slightly when one of his hands settled on her arm. "You can't just get in your gear while you still have wounds that need tending to."  
  
"I'm fine." Shepard shrugged his hand off, turning back to her locker.   
  
"Don't be stubborn. You're bleeding, Shepard. Come on, let's go up to the med bay and-"  
  
"Kaidan, I'm fine, alright?!" She snapped, slamming an arm into the locker. Almost instantly, she regretted it when a jolt of pain shot up her arm, and a very-unlike her whimper left her lips in the same second that she tugged her arm to herself and held it there like a injured dog - with an equally wounded pride - licking her wounds. "I-I'm sorry, I shouldn't get angry at you. I just-"  
  
"I know, Shepard. I know." This time, she didn't shy away when his hand took hold of her upper arm. "We're all on edge. But I can guess how much it hit you. For now, let's just get you up to the med bay and take care of this."  
  
She hesitated for a moment more, before nodding in defeat. He guided her to the elevator, and she could feel James' eyes on them as the door closed.   
  
Kaidan cleared his throat when they were alone. He opened his mouth, searching for words, and Shepard looked at him expectantly, before looking away when she realised she was staring.   
  
But he said nothing. It was silent the whole elevator ride, and when it stopped at their floor, she exited after his speedy escape. The crew deck was silent and empty, something which unnerved her more than she thought it would. She shuddered as she had a flashback to the time the Collectors kidnapped the whole of the crew.   
  
The med bay was as equally deserted. But she knew it would probably stay silent, even with two people in it, what with all the tension hovering in the air like an unwanted pest.  
  
She gave no complaint as he directed her to sit on one of the beds. Being stubborn wasn't the right way to go about this situation, especially with how confrontational their last full conversation had been. She'd only said a few broken sentences to him ever since their argument on Horizon- something which she hated and loved at the same time. She wanted the ice to break, for whatever grudge he was holding to dissipate, so they could at least hold a conversation. But on the other hand, she was scared about which way the conversation would go. She'd hate to fight him again.  
  
Her moment of thought was interrupted as he returned to her, placing whatever he'd found next to her. She chose to stare out of the window to her left as he began to work, starting with cleaning a few scratches on her left arm. A small part of her secretly enjoyed the proximity, and the gentle contact, but not just because she had missed him. Right now, she wanted nothing more than to be close to someone, to have some sort of reassurance that she wasn't alone in this.  
  
The silence was broken when he spoke, just briefly. "Look at me," he said, and she slowly turned her gaze to him, flinching back ever so slightly when he gently pressed some cotton wool to her cheek, and it stung so much she scowled.  
  
"Hey, come on. You've been through worse than a bit of disinfectant." He held up his hands defensively, to which she sighed and moved back into place, letting her expression drop. Annoyingly, just at the moment his free hand reached up to take hold of her face to keep her still, she felt a small flush come on, her face heating up. She just hoped it didn't show, because he'd think she was blushing.   
  
Was she?  
  
Surely not.  
  
"I won't always be around to argue with you about this," he began after another moment of silence. He met her eyes for a short moment, "You need to take care of yourself, Shepard."  
  
"If you're not around to argue with me, where are you?" She couldn't help herself. Teasing him was natural to her- maybe it would help. "What's worth your time more than that?"  
  
He chuckled, "Maybe being around and _not_ arguing?"   
  
The words slipped out before she could stop them. "I'd like that."  
  
Kaidan paused. He looked at her for a moment, to gauge if she was telling the truth, and he seemed to find his answer after a short minute.   
  
"Alright, let's see your other arm," he said, releasing her chin. She lifted her right arm, more than happy to place her hand at his waist as he cleaned and bandaged it.   
  
"So," she coughed, clearing her throat. Now seemed like a good time, right? "What have you been up to, Major? It's been a long time since I saw you last."  
  
The use of formality seemed to catch him of guard. "I, uh... Not much." He shrugged, keeping his eyes on her arm. "A few assignments for Admiral Anderson. Nothing off planet. I wanted to stay on Earth, especially since they were keeping you there-" Kaidan coughed, "I- well... I was concerned about you and the rest of the Normandy crew. I couldn't leave when I knew when the Reapers would strike."  
  
The confession caused a smile to spark on her lips. "You stayed because you were worried about me? Kaidan, since when have I _ever_ been in danger?"  
  
He looked up at her, seriously. "Shepard, you're _always_ in danger. Life and death situations are your thing."  
  
She laughed awkwardly, looking away, to where his hands were gently rolling up her sleeve to expose more bloodied skin. "I suppose you're right. But you miss them. Don't lie."  
  
"I do." He agreed. "I miss them, and maybe something else."  
  
Shepard's eyes wandered back up to his face. "What else do you miss?"  
  
His eyes met hers. "I wonder." A small smirk crept onto his lips, before he looked back to her arm.  
  
She wet her lips, feeling her mouth go dry suddenly. She hadn't thought their conversation might take such a turn.   
  
"Kaidan..." She began, swallowing a lump in her throat. "I... I don't like how we left things."   
  
He remained silent, either because he had nothing to say, or he wanted to allow her to continue. She hoped for the latter.  
  
She shook her head, letting out a shaky laugh. She hadn't thought she'd be giving this speech so soon. "I can't go into a fight knowing that it might well be the last time I see you and we left things the way we did. I..."  
  
He'd paused with his work. She wasn't sure when he had stopped.   
  
She took a gamble and looked at him. He wasn't surprised, nor shocked that she'd began with this. He wasn't even looking at her. He was still staring down at where he'd just applied a bandage around her upper arm, his fingers still resting at the already-tied knot.  
  
Why had she bothered? She knew she'd get a response like this.   
  
"I... I'm sorry." She said quickly, clearing her throat. She shifted awkwardly, before edging forward to hop off the bed. "That was inappropriate of me, I shouldn't have-"  
  
"Don't go anywhere." His hand blocked her exit, landing on the bed beside her and pinning her between him and the edge of the bed, which she was now precariously hanging off. The only thing stopping her from falling was him, and in his flurry to prevent her from leaving, her hands had settled on his chest, bracing herself from toppling over.  
  
"Kaidan..." She blinked twice, wondering if she was dreaming. Was this really happening? He was so close. Just an inch or two more and their lips would be touching.  
  
Realising the proximity, a jolt of electricity shot up her spine. Oh God, what was she doing? She hadn't realised until now how much she had wanted to simply lean forward just a little, just the tiniest amount until her lips brushed his.  
  
When he slowly moved forward, she grew impatient, her arms shooting up to hook around his neck and pull him down to her. What she ended up with was definitely not a kiss.  
  
"Commander, we're approaching the Mars Outpost. I'd recommend gearing up now if you're going to do it." Joker called over the comm, and she groaned inwardly as she remembered just what was going on outside of her little fantasies.  
  
"Right. Thanks, Joker." She called, struggling to keep her voice steady. Kaidan hadn't said anything, but if the sigh that left his lips was any indication, he was more than a little frustrated at how they'd ended up.   
  
"Uhm... We should probably... You know." Shepard cleared her throat, and she felt her face only growing warmer as Kaidan clambered off her. He held out a hand, helping her sit up. She ran a hand through her hair, shooting a sideways glance at him as he coughed and straightened his uniform. "Sorry. About... Well... That."  
  
He shook his head. "No. It was my fault. I should... I'm going to gear up. See you downstairs."   
  
With that, he charged off, no doubt in a hurry to get out in the field and get his mind of what had just happened. She was exactly the same, heart racing and left unsatisfied.  
  
Then, Shepard paused. What had he meant by "his fault"? Did he regret ending in that... Compromising situation with her? Or had he just shifted the blame to himself because he was as gentlemanly as always? Had he wanted it as much as she did?  
  
"Oh, God, what have I done?" She sighed. Oh, she was going to have a hard time staying focused if he was coming along on the mission.  
  
Which was most likely.  
  
" _Shit_."


	2. Repetition of Reassurance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: Spoilers

They made it onto Mars without any more embarrassing incidents. Shepard noticed Kaidan avoided both eye contact and speaking with her, and by the time she got to the shuttle bay, both he and James were suited up, but she noticed James was still pulling on his arm plates and gauntlets. Kaidan was already ready and out of sight.

 

She tried not to notice, or at least pretended not to notice. She tried to hurry tugging on her gear, knowing there was very little time before they were to go, but she fumbled with it for a few minutes and then set it down, glaring at the un-cooperating pieces in frustration. Either she'd put on weight or she was just struggling with it since it had been a while since she had put it on. It did look a little different to how it used to, as well- did the Alliance give her an upgrade?

 

Eventually, after a few more curse words and a few more glares shot at James when he snorted at her struggle, she managed to tug on her armour and attach the pieces. She'd have to get a new suit made if this struggle was going to be reoccurring.

 

She was sent a strange look from James when he watched her pick only a shotgun and submachine gun from the plethora of weapons. She supposed it was because only Kaidan had seen her in combat, and James was yet to see her fight. She could almost see the calculating look in his eyes as he scrutinized her weapons, almost seeming to be attempting to guess her style just from staring long enough.

 

As they boarded the shuttle - James clambering into the pilot's seat and Kaidan remaining in back with her - she checked everything with her suit was normal. Shepard felt paranoid, and she knew she must have seemed like it to anyone looking at her.

 

First, she started with the helmet, fiddling with the visor and mask until she was finally satisfied with the adjustments. She almost forgot she had installed a heat sensor into her helmet - with a little help from a certain Garrus Vakarian - and she was glad the Alliance hadn't removed it. She'd come to depend on it what with her tendency to charge into battle, straight at the most unsuspecting, sorry ass on the field.

 

Then, she messed around for a few minutes with her amp settings. She hadn't used her biotics in a while, and if she was heading into combat, there was not a single doubt that she'd need them. After fiddling with the settings and plugging the amp in - which felt strangely uncomfortable, for once - she fired it up for a quick minute to test it. She made sure to use the littlest amount of element zero nodules around her to create a simple barrier, before dropping it almost instantly after checking she felt comfortable with it.

 

"You okay, Shepard? You seem jumpy." Kaidan said so suddenly that she, ironically, jumped.

 

"Yeah, I'm fine." She shook her head, waving off his concern. "I just haven't been in combat for a while. I'm sure I'll get back in the swing of it fairly quickly, if we find resistance."

 

 _Which we probably will_ , she almost said.

 

"How do you want to do this, if we do find resistance?" He asked, brown eyes flicking up to meet hers for the first time in the last twenty minutes.

 

She paused, taken a little aback by the question, "How we always have...?" It was more of a question.

 

Kaidan sighed. "Any preference on what Vega or I do?"

 

"Not really." Her shoulders lifted in a little shrug. "I lead, you two are backup. James will cover my flank and you'll take back. Just like we used to."

 

"Are there any changes I should know about?"

 

"What are you trying to say, Kaidan?"

 

"In how you fight, Shepard." He almost sighed again, if not for the irked look on her face.

 

"No. Well, maybe a few moves that shouldn't affect you."

 

"Like what?"

 

A small growl of annoyance left her. "I improved my biotics a little. I got new amps, so I had to adjust."

 

"That's all?"

 

"If you're thinking Cerberus gave me intense training to make me a mass demon of destruction, well, you'll sadly be mistaken."

 

"I don't think you need training to be that, Shepard."

 

She didn't know whether to take that as a compliment or not. She felt her brows tug together into a frown as she ran her tongue across her teeth, before shaking her head and rising to her feet.

 

For a while, she spoke with Joker and EDI from behind James, but the conversation was short and to the point. A small wave of relief washed over her at the confirmation of a lack of Reaper activity, but her brain began running in circles as she began to try to figure out who could have cut communication with the base.

 

Shepard hadn't realised how hard putting on a helmet with long hair would be. Her hair wasn't _long_ , but longer than it had been. By keeping it at her chin, she never had any problems with it getting in the way. Now, she was regretting let it grow out a little.

 

In the end, she threw her hair back from her face and tucked it out of the way whilst she pulled on her helmet, all the while complaining under her breath about how much of an amateur she felt today.

 

She wobbled slightly on her feet as the shuttle dropped to the dusty surface of the planet. Mars wasn't a place she'd been much - just once or twice in her teen years - but she had already assumed that they'd face some kind of complication regarding the weather.

 

Understanding the short half hour they had was all she'd get was one thing. Keeping within that time limit was another altogether.

 

They had to move swiftly. She set a quick pace which they kept up with easily, Kaidan sticking to her flank like glue, she noticed. He seemed to anticipate the danger as well as she did, shoulders tense and eyes flickering in constant motion behind the visor of his helmet.

 

She shouldn't have been surprised when they found an Alliance soldier, no matter how dead he was. The fact that Kaidan pointed out - the fact that the marine hadn't even put up a fight - was simply more confusing, and a little unnerving.

 

She shouldn't have been surprised with Cerberus, either. She should have known they'd be here, but why? She could almost feel Kaidan's stare boring into her back with the same question as she watched from behind cover, cringing ever so slightly when the gunshot rang through the air, killing the marine in one blow to the head.

 

Why was Cerberus here? What could interest them here on Mars other than a few old dusty ruins and some scientists? Did they know that the Alliance was after something here? If not, why would the Illusive Man bother?

 

Questions aside, she got the hint that James was beginning to get trigger-happy. Lifting up from her position, there was not even a second delay before she was already smashing the closest soldier's head into the ground with an almost-satisfying crunch. It took them by surprise, and they scrambled apart to get behind cover as she shot to her feet once again.

 

She took out another two Cerberus soldiers as they attempted to dash for cover, catching them both in the back with a single powerful shotgun shell that was even deadlier at such a close range. She tried to get a third, but was distracted by the sound of a crackling voltage behind her. She was glad she ducked when she did, because Kaidan's shot flew over her head and caught the soldier in the chest, sending him sprawling back into the dirt.

 

There was no time to thank him. James was joining the fray now, and she had to cover her own back which she had forgotten to do.

 

The fire-fight didn't last much longer. Cerberus hadn't come in force, and seemed to not have expected resistance; very few soldiers were left here at the entrance to the facility, their few vehicles evidence of their small number.

 

Shepard couldn't sense what the others were feeling. She had never been adept at it, but she could usually gauge a small bit, but the both of them were avoiding her eye contact like the plague. She understood Kaidan, but James, too? Had she intimidated him? That was highly unlikely, but it was the only possibility she could think of.

 

She had expected it, knew it was coming, but she didn't know it would be now.

 

"Shepard, I need a straight answer."

 

She sighed at Kaidan's aggressive approach, turning her back on him. She couldn't look at him now; a single look in his eyes and she'd lose any form of argument.

 

After squeezing her eyes closed for a short moment, she opened her mouth to explain that now was definitely not the time, "Kaidan-"

 

"Don't _Kaidan_ me. This is business." The false tone of endearment he put into his voice when saying his own name in imitation of her stung- more than she thought it would. "Do you know anything about why Cerberus is here?"

 

"What makes you think _I_ know what they're up to?" She retorted. It's not like she was friends with the Illusive Man.

 

"You worked for them, for God's sake. How am I not supposed to think that?" He began to pace a little, before finally, he turned his back on her, this time, hands gripping the railing before him like he was using it to support him.

 

She could feel a swift build-up of frustration that was growing by the second. "We joined forces to take down the Collectors. That's _it_." She explained, her voice calm and level. She couldn't let this anger her. The mission would go downhill in seconds if she lost her patience.

 

"There's more to it than that."

 

"Like what? Please do tell, because I want to know what the hell's going on in your head right now."

 

He looked at her over his shoulder. His eyes kept contact with hers for a short moment, before he looked away. "They rebuilt you from the ground up." He insisted, "They gave you a ship, resources."

 

"Let me be _crystal clear_ ," She began, stopping beside him and taking a place against the railing. "I have had _no_ contact with Cerberus since I destroyed the Collector base, and I have _no_ idea why they're here _now_ , or what they want."

 

That gave him pause. But he didn't give in; instead, he glared stubbornly at the wall.

 

She was thankful for James' intervention. It just helped her cause all the more.

 

"Commander Shepard's been under constant surveillance since coming back to Earth." Vega added, and from the _slightest_ of flinches, she guessed Kaidan already knew that. "There's no way they've communicated since."

 

It was a long moment before anyone spoke again. She backed off as he pushed off from the railing, giving her a sideways glance with his brows drawn.

 

Kaidan sighed, "Sorry, Shepard. It's just that-"

 

The hissing of the elevator didn't seem interested in his excuses. She wasn't, either. She understood his worry, but she felt insulted and betrayed more than anything else at all.

 

Tugging off her helmet, she turned to him and couldn't help the hurt or disappointment from crawling into her features.

 

"You of all people should know what I'm about, Kaidan." Was all she said. Her feelings coloured her tone as well as expression.

 

It fell silent. She turned away as the elevator shuddered beneath them, raising slowly. Her fingers tightened the grip she had on her helmet, glaring at her reflection in the visor. Surely she wasn't that different that Kaidan was so insistent that she was some form of puppet for the Illusive Man? She was the same to everyone else. Was Kaidan really that hurt that she'd betrayed the Alliance? Or was it more than that?

 

It didn't matter, now. All that was important was getting what they needed and getting out of here.

 

"Please trust me." She said finally after a long moment of silence, which felt truly more like hours than mere seconds.

 

***

 

"I do, I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"

 

Kaidan cut himself off short at the sound of clanging metal. Following Shepard's example, he equipped the closest weapon and took cover, waiting for her signal to jump into action.

 

He'd picked a bad time, he knew. He shouldn't have brought up personal feelings in the middle of a mission, but they were too important to simply discard. He and Shepard weren't working well together right now; that was bad in so many ways.

 

By the time Shepard moved, it was when she'd decided if the approaching person was friend or foe. She'd decided friend; Liara was someone he hadn't seen in a while. She seemed happy to be greeted by them and not more Cerberus troops.

 

He should have been paying more attention than he was. He was too engulfed in his thoughts, wanting to reprimand himself for everything he said wrong. How did he think it was okay to question her? Shepard would never lie to him, no matter the circumstances. Why would he ever think otherwise? This was _Shepard_. She wouldn't do it.

 

But he had reason to be suspicious. Anyone would be a little, especially after all that had happened with Cerberus in the past.

 

Looking at Liara now, however, he saw that she treated Shepard with no distrust. She treated her like she always had, indifferent to her time with Cerberus. As far as he was aware, Liara hadn't joined the _suicide mission_ , as they had dubbed it, so Liara had no ties to the group whatsoever. Was it just him? Was it just him worrying about Shepard's motives?

 

That was something he never thought possible. He was _questioning Shepard's motives_. He'd never had cause to do it before. The trust he held for her was as much as his respect for her, which was greater than most people combined. It was difficult to imagine himself, standing there now, watching her converse with Liara and wonder just what Shepard was up to.

 

He shook his thoughts off. He'd listened to enough of the conversation to understand it well enough.

 

"What are they after?" He heard Shepard ask, a very close question to what he had been asking her less than a few minutes before.

 

James nodded in agreement. At least Kaidan wasn't the only one wanting answers. "Yeah, they seemed hell-bent on catching you."

 

"They want what I'm here for," Liara's voice was as calm and smooth as ever. "What we're all here for."

 

"But _why_?" Shepard took the words right out of his mouth.

 

"The Protheans came close to defeating the Reapers," she replied. Kaidan somehow found it hard to believe the ancient, insentient race were actually not impossibly powerful. "They had plans to destroy them, but ran out of time."

 

It clicked with Kaidan then, "And anything powerful enough to destroy the Reapers..."

 

Shepard nodded, "Seems just like something Cerberus would be interested in." She said in agreement, catching his gaze to send him an expressionless smile. That was a habit of hers; smile with the eyes and no one would catch her.

 

"So it's a race to the archives-" Before the words even left James' lips completely, the entire room shook and the ground shuddered beneath their feet.

 

Fizzing noises above them caught his attention. With a scowl, he pulled out a weapon, knowing Cerberus would be no doubt behind the still-closed door. He was busy taking cover as Shepard ordered James back to the shuttle, keeping an eye on her position. She was out in open view and the door would open in less than a few seconds. He had two minds to go over there and kick James' ass down the elevator shaft to hurry him up so Shepard could take cover.

 

"I hear them. We should take cover." He added as a reminder to Shepard that she was still out in the open.

 

It wasn't long till Shepard was hurrying back over, submachine gun in her left hand as she backed up against the box beside him.

 

Three powerful biotics against a few weak Cerberus operatives made for a boring fight. He barely even had to lift a finger- both Liara and Shepard destroyed those who came through the door, Shepard throwing them into the air and Liara tossing Singularity at those who didn't go flying with the first attack.

 

It was strange, but it made Kaidan feel a little better to have Liara with them. It reminded him of the old days, when he and Shepard were on _better_ than good terms, and, for a while, he was able delude himself into thinking that they still were. It helped him focus now that his mind was off a certain _L. Shepard_ and on the mission like it should have been.

 

They began to make their way through the facility, following Liara's directions and heading for the archives. All the while, Shepard was deadly silent, giving only the occasional order or asking the odd question. He followed her without question.

 

It was oddly refreshing to be back where he belonged again, following her lead. Shepard had always been an excellent squad leader, and Commander, and he wouldn’t rather follow anyone else into battle. He just wished their reunion had been something a little better than his performance on Horizon and what little time they’d spent together after her return to the Alliance.

 

He wondered if Shepard felt the same. To have him and Liara back with her, following her lead. Maybe she did. Maybe she didn’t.

 

He just hoped she felt something other than hatred at being back in his company after Horizon.


	3. Savage Beauty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: Spoilers

Shepard shouldn't have been surprised that Cerberus reached the Archives before them. She shouldn't really have been surprised to find that Kaidan had a plan- she should have knew he did.

 

"The Archives are on a completely different network," Liara let out a sigh. She'd been fiddling with the terminal for a good few minutes. "We're completely locked out."

 

Shepard _almost_ managed to swear before Kaidan interrupted.

 

"Not unless we find a short-range communicator. Helmet to helmet." Was his suggestion. One of her brows twitched up in question.

 

"And?"

 

"We convince them we're on their side; tell them the Alliance forces have been taken care of."

 

She considered it for a short moment, before nodding. "Good idea. See what you can find."

 

He gave a curt nod before turning on his heel and heading for the Cerberus troops on the ground behind them.

 

It took a whole of a minute for Shepard to notice Liara was watching her. "What?" She asked.

 

The Asari shrugged, a small smile tugging at her lips as she turned away. "The Major has become very... Capable." Was all she said, though Shepard was sure she was thinking something else that she wasn't going to share. It had always been that way, though Shepard hadn't minded it much. Liara barely ever let on to the entirety of what she was thinking.

 

Shepard nodded in agreement. "That he has."

 

He really had. It was a subtle difference, though Shepard had noticed it almost instantly. He handled himself differently. It was almost like he'd stepped up a little since she'd last seen him, and now he was more confident on the battlefield. Maybe that came with being in command- she was sure he'd been placed in control of a task force. Anderson had said something about that when she'd asked after him.

 

"Shepard! I found something!" He called, not a minute later.

 

Kaidan worked fast. At least that hadn't changed.

 

Following where she'd heard his voice, she left Liara at the console, and headed through the doors to the left. Kaidan glanced back at her over his shoulder before nodding his head in the direction of the Cerberus soldier he was crouched over.

 

"There's a transmitter in his helmet. If I can just-" His words trailed off. She frowned in confusion at his sudden halt, approaching cautiously as he pulled back from the soldier who's helmet he'd just been fiddling with.

 

"What?" She stopped short and swallowed a lump in her throat as she saw just what was the cause of his pause.

 

"My God," he breathed, turning his head away with a look of disgust written plainly across his face. "He looks just like a husk."

 

Slowly, she took his place, hesitantly reaching out with a slightly shaky hand to turn the helmet back. There was no question- this was no way a simple mistake.

 

"Yeah... Not quite." She retracted her hand, fighting the urge to turn away. Her stomach was twisting in ways which were never good signs. "But they've definitely done something to him... Whatever they've done."

 

"By ' _they_ ', you mean Cerberus? They did this to their own guy?" He asked, and she risked a glance at him to see he was still as revolted as before. Slowly and shakily, she rose back to her feet, twisting her hands together beside him, resisting the urge to put a bullet through the soldier's head just for good measure.

There was a moment of silence, before Kaidan spoke again. "Is this what they did to _you_?"

 

She felt her blood run cold. Slowly, she lifted her gaze to look at him, hoping he was just attempting to make some kind of sick joke. He was looking back at her, seriously, brows pulled together in - she didn't know what it was, because it certainly _couldn't_ be concern with what he just said.

 

She struggled for words, spending a good few minutes gaping at him. "How... How could you say that?" She let out a shaky, incredulous laugh, but her tone took a harsh turn when she next spoke, "How could you compare me to him?"

 

"Shepard, I don't know what you are, or who." Kaidan shook his head, turning away. He had done the exact same when he'd first seen the face of the soldier. Was that how he felt about her, too?

 

She searched for something to say in the brief window he gave her to argue back. In the end, she didn't. She had no idea what to say in response to that.

 

She felt sick, more so than she had a second before. Did he really think of her like that? Did he really see her as a monster? They both knew just what husks were like- soulless creatures who were almost ripped directly from a child's scary story. How could he see her - _her_ , of all people - like that? What happened to his tender gazes and gentle touches? What happened to loving her?

 

"Kaidan..." She sighed softly. How on earth was she going to try to explain anything to him?

 

"Don't try to explain it." He said quickly, almost as if he read her mind. "I probably wouldn't understand it anyway."

 

She felt her hands ball into fists at her side. She _wanted_ to explain. She _wanted_ to make him understand. She hated leaving him in the dark like she had. She knew what that felt like, especially with a loved one, and it wasn't hard to imagine the frustration and pain he felt right now.

 

It was Kaidan's turn to sigh. Turning to her, he looked at her seriously, though she could see the pain, plain and simple, in his eyes. She wanted nothing more than to tell him everything, promise him that she never wanted to do anything but help, tell him that she was still her- she was still _Shepard_.

 

"I just wanna know." He met her eyes, swallowing a lump in his throat as he looked directly at her. She felt like he was staring straight into her soul- he could have been, for how easily he could have gotten her to say anything he wanted to hear in the space of seconds. "Is the person I followed to hell and back... The person that I _loved_... Are you still in there, somewhere?"

 

 _Loved_. The word stung hard in her chest. Of course it was in the past. How could she have thought otherwise?

 

"They didn't change me, Kaidan. Or how I feel about you." She threw caution to the wind, and added in the last part with little hesitation. Then, she sighed, "But words won't convince you, will they?"

 

"Probably not."

 

She shrugged. "I thought not. You were always stubborn." She gently reached out and playfully shoved his shoulder. A smile crept onto her lips when he let out a snort.

 

" _Me_?" He shook his head, "Shepard, you do recall how stubborn you are?"

 

"Of course I do. I'm the most stubborn bitch I know."

 

That caused another snort to leave him.

 

"Come on," she reached down, tugging the transmitter out of the helmet of the Cerberus soldier quickly, wanting to touch him as little as possible. "Let's see what Cerberus is up to. Hopefully we'll both get some answers."

 

"Hopefully." He agreed.

***

Kaidan's plan worked, and he was _wowed_ by Shepard's convincing lie. She was _so_ sure of herself as she looked at him with delayed answers and, _erm's_ and _uh's_ , looking to get help in some of her responses.

 

"Great job there, Shepard. Your acting skills are the best I've ever seen." He joked after she'd thrown the transmitter away, and he watched with a raised eyebrow as it was followed by dancing blue light, and fell to the ground in a handful of ashes.

 

"I know. I should have been cast as the main character in the _Blasto_ movies, huh?" She smirked.

 

"Well, funnily enough, they're already about you, just with a hanar in your place."

 

"You're _not_ serious."

 

"No, I am. I was forced to watch one. Let me tell you, even _you_ would have done a better job."

 

"Think I can claim copyright on that? I mean... It's _my life_."

 

He shrugged. Then, changing conversation, he asked, "Think they bought it, anyway?"

 

"If they didn't, they'll figure it out soon enough."

 

"We should get into position- flank them when they get of the tram."

 

"Good idea. Go on. Liara, you go with him. I'll stay up here and then flank them when the doors open."

 

Kaidan nodded in response. The two hurried to get down to the lower floor, and they left her waiting half way down the stairs. He felt a little uneasy leaving her on her own up there, but it wasn't like he could order her to do anything, was it? She was his Commander, not the other way around.

 

They opened fire as soon as the doors to the tram opened. Shepard was a blur as she shot into the fray, taking down two straight away with her biotic charge. He could barely keep track of her movements she was that fast- ducking and weaving and bobbing, leaving a trail of flickering blue light behind her. She was a brilliant biotic, but he could never remember her being this good. There was little chance for him or Liara to take one of the enemies out- she did it all for them.

 

She waved them over just as she tossed the final surviving Cerberus soldier into the air. He yelled and fought to keep hold of his weapon, which clattered to the ground as he slowly spun in circles towards the ceiling. Kaidan beat her to it in putting a bullet in him. It wasn't like Shepard to toy with unarmed enemies.

 

He boarded the tram after Liara, glancing over at Shepard before tugging on his helmet. She was having trouble with her hair again, he noticed. He'd watched her struggle earlier, and she was obviously not used to having her hair so long yet. If she was, she wouldn't have so much of a problem.

 

He liked her hair now. He liked it before, but she suited it better when it was longer. Even if he wasn't outwardly expressing how much he liked it that she was back in his company, he enjoyed noticing the subtle changes in her. For one, he particularly liked her hair now. Her tattoos were another thing, but he wasn't sure whether he completely liked them or not yet- her arm tattoos, he meant. He'd noticed them before, when she'd been wearing her BDU. He wondered briefly if when Cerberus rebuilt her, they gave her the tattoo on her hip back. Actually, that might not be a thought to be having right now. He didn't need any more distractions.

 

"You okay, Kaidan?" He heard Shepard call.

 

"Yeah, yeah, fine." He responded almost too quickly. _Kaidan, come on, get your act together. You're acting like a hormonal teenager._

 

God, that was a thought.

 

There was a part of him hoping that there wouldn't be a trap waiting for them. He was also hoping he'd be in the mental state to notice if there was one, but apparently, he was too distracted by thoughts of his Commander that he didn't. Shepard didn't either, which was surprising. She seemed a little distracted too.

 

The explosion on the track caused the whole tram to shake precariously off its hinges. Scrambling to his feet, he looked to Liara, who'd landed beside him, helping the asari to her feet, and then looked for Shepard. She was busy muttering every curse word that was human and more, grumbling all curses of all different languages as she crawled back to her feet.

 

Well, Shepard's vocabulary when she was angry hadn't changed much. He wasn't sure if that was good or bad.

 

"Do you think they figured it out yet?" Kaidan called, halfway between a joke and a serious question.

 

"Is it okay for now to be _'soon enough'_ yet?" Was Shepard's sarcastic response as she tugged out her shotgun. He heard the distinctive click as she reloaded more clips.

 

Another tram was heading their way. He followed Shepard's suit and armed himself, ducking out of the way of incoming fire. Cerberus wasn't sparing any expense to take care of them.

 

As soon as the other tram was close enough, Shepard was over the gap and in it, ripping through the enemy ranks. He was still amazed at how fast she was; cutting through the shields of the soldiers before her, putting a bullet in one, heaving another over the edge of the tram and down onto the ground far below with one hand. She was definitely impressive, and that was only beginning to describe her.

 

When the chance arose, he followed her across the gap, and Liara beat him to it in taking out the remaining enemies close enough.

 

"Why do you never leave any for me...?" Kaidan grumbled, not unhappily, but falsely putout.

 

He heard a snort come from Shepard's general direction, "It's much more fun this way, Major."

 

He wasn't sure if the use of his title was a form of endearment or not.

 

The tram was soon moving forwards, taking them closer to their destination. He knew there would be further resistance from Cerberus, but he also knew he didn't need to tell Shepard that- she would already know.

 

As soon as the tram door opened, a barrage of gunfire was thrown at them. The air around him tingled as he felt his barrier snap up in response almost immediately, and a soft shudder wracked through him as he felt Shepard's do the exact same beside him. It always felt a little odd feeling another person's biotics, but he'd grown accustomed to the feeling of Shepard's, as she surely had with his. He felt Liara's too, though he felt a little more uncomfortable sensing hers. It was different with Shepard- he'd felt hers a little more often, in closer quarters, putting it mildly.

 

In the second gap in the fire, all three of them moved forward out of cover. Shepard was up and over the barrier in a split-second, and upon the closest, unluckiest marine and sending him flying into the far wall, hitting it with a loud clash. It caused a uniform pause among them all, and they all stared at Shepard in shock for a few minutes, and he could have sworn he saw several of their feet inch back a little, almost as if considering running.

 

 _He_ certainly would, if he was her target.

 

"Shit, it's Shepard!" he heard a yell from the opposing side.  

 

She grinned, but she used the distraction to her advantage, and signalled covering fire as she leaped on the closest enemy, smacking him squarely in the nose and sending him sprawling onto the ground with the side of her shotgun, and proceeded to spin it around for a second attack, this time putting a bullet through his gut.

 

Shepard ducked, skidding through the open legs of another soldier as Liara tossed Singularity at him, whom she'd previously been about to charge at. Instead, she knocked the soldier behind him off his feet and her Omni-Blade made a horrid crackling sound as it dug straight into his armour in one thrust. Her barrier exploded just as another two soldiers charged at her, sending them both flying with charred armour.

 

Kaidan sent another one to the ground as he ran at Shepard from behind whilst her barrier was recuperating. It had been a careless move, destroying her barrier like that. That was only ever a last resort, and she'd used it in the middle of a battle they were clearly winning when she had two teammates to rely on.

 

Her fighting style had grown so _savage_. She never used to be so violent in combat- she was always cautious, and didn't take risks. Now, she was destroying enemies by any means, even if it mean sacrificing her own defence to do so. He knew she was a strange Vanguard when he used to fight by her side, but now, she certainly lived up to the name.

 

He honestly worried for her a little. It was foolish, as this was _Shepard_ , but a small part of him only pictured her unguarded, fragile self that he'd seen on very few occasions in the past. That had only happened a few times - four, he counted roughly - when she hadn't been able to handle it anymore, and had either gotten so drunk she couldn't twitch a finger without falling over, or she'd hide away and pretend that he hadn't seen her tears.

 

Nonetheless, he forced them to wait after the fight to let her barrier replenish fully. It was hard keeping her in one place for long enough, and she was soon complaining that she was fine and they were delaying on time that Cerberus would use to get the upper hand. She soon ignored his request - for that was all he could ask for, as he couldn't _order_ her to do anything - and headed out, and he was sure he got a look from Liara that simply said, _'Don't bother_.'

 

Shepard had always been stubborn, much like she'd said he was.

**Author's Note:**

> A re-upload of Soldier, the fic I posted a while ago but for some reason took down. Maintaining a regular update will be impossible, so not only will this fic be a slow burn, but it will have irregular updates, so I'm sorry, don't hate me.


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